Recently, it seems like everyone is either expecting or just had a baby. Three of my sisters-in-law, a cousin, LOTS of friends, even the characters on the shows I watch regularly are expecting. Am I so happy for these great women? Of course I am. Having a baby is such a blessing!
Which is why every time I hear that someone else is expecting, my aura gets a darker shade of green! Not like the Hulk, but the other green monster called ENVY. Not to mention that every new baby is like a mini dagger to my uterus.
Yes, yes, I am finally coming out of the baby hungry closet.
Although Matthew and I have both talked and prayed about this extensively and have decided to wait a while longer, it's difficult to not want one NOW when others are expecting. When I'm feeling like this, I think I can relate to Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -the classic with Gene Wilder. You know, "I want it NOW!" Do I want a Golden Egg? Sure! Preferably one with a baby inside.
After a little pity party, and a conversation with my Heavenly Father, I come back to reality. And honestly feel a little foolish. There is always something to learn in life. Heavenly Father loves us and He knows what is best for His children. Through this experience, I am learning to trust in the Lord. There's a time and place for everything and I need to have faith that I will be able to have the thing I want, in the Lord's time.
Side note: For all of you who are expecting, I AM sincerely happy for you! I just can't wait to be among the Sisterhood of the Pregnancy Pants.
6 comments:
Oh hunny! I understand. I have been baby hungry for ONE YEAR!! I am going nuts. I hold any baby I can. I am so anxious. But, I agree, the right time will come.
So my good friend Tracey told me at the beginning of the semester that her and her husband were trying to get pregnant and secretly I was jealous! I told her later after she told us all that they were pregnant and she just laughed. Honestly though I still want a little one even though I'd rather wait until I was done with school!
You are wise beyond your years. It's okay to want something as badly as you do. And it's okay to be a little envious of those who have it. But the wisdom comes with the communication with your Heavenly Father and your sweet companion. God sees all, and the Golden Egg will hatch for you at the right time. Just hang in there! We love you, and are grateful you waited for us to have you complete our family.
I so understand. Dagger to my heart. I have lots of time to wait, though, its never going to come!
man, OH MAN!. . . this makes me feel kind of bad.
i am the opposite.
NOT that i don't LOVE babies to death and want to hold all the babies i can!
because i do. . . it's just. . . i don't want another baby any time soon!
i can barely handle the two i have. . . and the thought of a third sends me into a panic attack. . . not into a state of bliss.
i WISH i could be more like you.
being a mom is the BEST thing ever. . . but knowing when you are drowning and when you are staying afloat helps remind me that a third would throw me into the latter state.
but also. . . Heavenly Father knows what we can handle and what not. . . so. . . i guess i shouldn't have said anything because now i will be jinxed! ;)
boy. . . do i look like an evil person for admitting these things out loud?
it's not what i mean by it. . . i want a third. . . just not until Kendy is at least two!
Ok, I'll be your ray of sunshine in this pitty party. Haha (j/k). I really enjoyed reading this entry. It made me laugh. You have such a way of expressing yourself. And I'm not just saying this because you are in the same room with me. Well said sista!
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