Bitter

(These two little ones and their smiles and laughter are sure blessings!)

If I'm completely honest, lately it is so tempting to want to be bitter about life. I'll admit, I've given into that temptation more than I have resisted. I'm not proud of that. There are so many things/trials piling on top of each other. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the bottom of my rope and then something else happens. Why? Because apparently we haven't been dumped on enough this past year. -See what I mean about the bitterness?
This is why I don't really call people too much. So, I'm sorry if I have neglected you pretty much since we've moved out here. I know there are a few people who feel that way. Life has just been hard and I haven't wanted to talk about it. And selfishly, I haven't really wanted to hear about all the things people have that I don't, either.
I've been trying extremely hard these past few weeks to not feel buried in self pity. That's not going to get me out of anything and it sure doesn't help matters. I've been trying to focus on the blessings that I DO have. Big and little.
That's one point of trials anyway, isn't it?
By trying to remember and realize what I do have, I realize the things that I have that others don't. That I take for granted daily.
Instead of wanting out and wanting to take the easy road, I'm learning that when we have trials, it's best to see them through. Do what's right by me and my family, even if it's hard. And this past year has been difficult. And there's more to come, I'm sure.
But, as sure as I know that, I know that I'm not alone. I'm not going through this alone. There are reasons why we're going through this and I have faith that there will be a time when we've learned our lessons and we can move on.
That's comforting.