So, I have been putting this blog post off. This is the "William is going to kindergarten" blog post. I figured that maybe if I finally just did it, rip it off like a band-aid, then it won't be so bad on Thursday when he actually goes to school.
FOUR DAYS! I guess, technically, it's more like THREE DAYS now.
School is an exciting thing and I've been trying to be so upbeat about William going to school. To his face. In other places I'm bawling like a baby. If he only knew.
When did he get so big? So old? He's to the point where he will remember things. I remember my first day of school. He will remember his. This is why I need to put up a brave front. If I had known that first day of Kindergarten that my mom was still in the hallway having a hard time leaving, I would have had a harder time being there without her.
It's not so much that William is my baby, because he's not. He is my little boy, my bud, my helper, my right hand man. I'm excited for him to progress. But, where it hits me the hardest is the fact that he is moving on and I'm not going to be there to watch it. This little one of mine is going off into the world without my hand to hold at all times, and that is scary. I feel like I have run out of time too quickly and only hope that I have taught him what he needs
.
Now, maybe I sound a little too ridiculous. I do realize that William is not leaving me for good. I will still have him and I'll still be teaching him. I'm still "momma." But, when school starts for a little person, life is never the same.
This is a part of motherhood, right? We have to give up what our selfish desires are for the benefit of our children's progression.
William is ready to move on. He is such a people person, I know he will have no problem making friends.
I love this little boy and I am excited for him to be his own. To grow into his own and be confident in who he is and what he has to offer the world, which is a lot.
And I will be cheering for him from the sidelines!
(and picking him up in the car riders lane)
5 comments:
It's such a bittersweet time, isn't it? I'm with you -- and every year, the world takes a bigger chunk of these precious little people. Just love, love, love him.
I know you already do.
xoxo
Jan is right! I think you are justified to feel the way you do, too. I had a hard time vocalizing that I won't always be the best teacher (all-round) for my kids. I had to give up a little bit of that and trust that it's the right thing. It's SO hard.
Sleepovers were hard for me, too. What's their house like? Do they yell at their kids? Do they smoke? etc. Being a parent is hard. Letting go of it is even harder. Love ya sis. Hug him for me! Miss him lots.
I"m right there with you Candace. And I know that this is good for Taylor, but for us, it's a year earlier than I thought she'd be going in to school. And yes it was my decision, and I know she needs this. But if I had it my way, she'd be home forever. But you said everything I'm thinking and feeling. If you want to hang out afterwards, let me know. ;) I'll be a mess too.
You are such a sweet mom! You will have to teach me how to handle that big day when it comes around for me. He will do great! Stay strong, but it is ok to cry! You are awesome!
Knowing you were doing well in that classroom mad it easier for me to stop crying and get out of that hallway...that, and your teacher coming out and telling me that I could go and you would be fine. And look how well you turned out!!! Baby Steps!!!
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